there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
