We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
