That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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