I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
