people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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