Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize