A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize