Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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