the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize