I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
