I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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