who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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