I heard we made out
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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