I bet he comes in French.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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