Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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