Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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