Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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