I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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