Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
