I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
