He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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