I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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