You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
