Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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