That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
