I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
