I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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