What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Someone signed my nipple.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
