so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
