doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
