Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
