Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.

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(805): So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all. http://tfl.nu/imgn

Replies (6) Good night (1903) Bad night (534)
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(760): View more from California

We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.

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(760): We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends. http://tfl.nu/k3i4

Replies (53) Good night (4940) Bad night (976)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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(201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi

Replies (8) Good night (1204) Bad night (3984)
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(516): View more from New York

my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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(516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr

Replies (12) Good night (3968) Bad night (1038)
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(770): View more from Georgia

The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions

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(770): The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions http://tfl.nu/csf1

Replies (11) Good night (5916) Bad night (1046)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.

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(508): Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/xgp0

Replies (5) Good night (2391) Bad night (799)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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(814): I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls? http://tfl.nu/unf7

Replies (8) Good night (1748) Bad night (776)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat

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(615): We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat http://tfl.nu/d487

Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (2099)
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(517): View more from Michigan

winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.

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(517): winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito. http://tfl.nu/1g88

Replies (15) Good night (2067) Bad night (654)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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(303): Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/mbmy

Replies (2) Good night (1476) Bad night (566)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out

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(703): Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out http://tfl.nu/d2ci

Replies (8) Good night (2502) Bad night (902)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

(320): View more from Minnesota

No shame in my game.

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(701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7

Replies (4) Good night (1308) Bad night (559)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z

Replies (5) Good night (1411) Bad night (579)
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(914): View more from New York

And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that

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(914): And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that http://tfl.nu/fmcd

Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (577)
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(989): View more from Michigan

So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?

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(989): So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/cm4x

Replies (8) Good night (480) Bad night (828)

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