Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (582) Bad night (2408) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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  (804): I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work. http://tfl.nu/4b6j
  Replies (9) Good night (3222) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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  (951): I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it http://tfl.nu/eb7i
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (3204) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

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  (567): i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style http://tfl.nu/1r2g
  Replies (24) Good night (1602) Bad night (4755) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.

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  (312): the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building. http://tfl.nu/d9kx
  Replies (29) Good night (4254) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

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  (614): hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked http://tfl.nu/5a6g
  Replies (15) Good night (940) Bad night (3858) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (6940) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6688) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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  (413): In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does. http://tfl.nu/f5ii
  Replies (48) Good night (7747) Bad night (1834)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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  (303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9
  Replies (22) Good night (4964) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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  (647): I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized... http://tfl.nu/nrq1
  Replies (13) Good night (1679) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight

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  (251): when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight http://tfl.nu/vlsg
  Replies (14) Good night (894) Bad night (2152) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

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  (757): You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else. http://tfl.nu/0zf9
  Replies (20) Good night (964) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

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  (585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (177)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke

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  (484): There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke http://tfl.nu/bkfk
  Replies (5) Good night (244) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt

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