I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.