Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money

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  (253): i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money http://tfl.nu/2wwu
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (696)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Man I wish I had been there

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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  (314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a
  Replies (11) Good night (2864) Bad night (726)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1182) Bad night (2912)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.

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  (208): Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge. http://tfl.nu/9q10
  Replies (24) Good night (4116) Bad night (669)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
  Replies (36) Good night (6447) Bad night (1148)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize

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  (727): Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize http://tfl.nu/86pd
  Replies (10) Good night (3998) Bad night (1059)
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  (510): View more from California

  Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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  (510): Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/2xfe
  Replies (34) Good night (1946) Bad night (10077)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

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  (705): I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ? http://tfl.nu/dlrl
  Replies (12) Good night (1327) Bad night (2662)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???

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  (347): Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord??? http://tfl.nu/3v54
  Replies (15) Good night (2649) Bad night (1189)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.

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  (615): You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all. http://tfl.nu/of60
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (646)
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  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (1035)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"

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  (262): Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10" http://tfl.nu/3dr6
  Replies (1) Good night (1147) Bad night (628)
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  (+81): View more from

  I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

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  (+81): I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing? http://tfl.nu/61om
  Replies (4) Good night (790) Bad night (429)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.

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  (865): to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger. http://tfl.nu/z4fx
  Replies (2) Good night (1024) Bad night (404)
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"

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  (445): she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too" http://tfl.nu/r5oy
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (718)

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