Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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  (401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v
  Replies (20) Good night (840) Bad night (5375)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.

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  (720): morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore. http://tfl.nu/srrk
  Replies (23) Good night (1024) Bad night (3341)
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  (909): View more from California

  Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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  (909): Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass http://tfl.nu/8d1b
  Replies (19) Good night (767) Bad night (4531)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.

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  (212): I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew. (503): Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word. http://tfl.nu/4en3
  Replies (26) Good night (5576) Bad night (642)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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  (248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq
  Replies (126) Good night (17170) Bad night (2208)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

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  (732): the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :( http://tfl.nu/7drn
  Replies (19) Good night (1191) Bad night (6619)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

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  (732): he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/xvk7
  Replies (34) Good night (18097) Bad night (820)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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  (937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u
  Replies (31) Good night (8437) Bad night (729)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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  (302): dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit http://tfl.nu/61qr
  Replies (13) Good night (6697) Bad night (1163)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

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  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
  Replies (26) Good night (12053) Bad night (1890)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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  (217): 4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket http://tfl.nu/mc6u
  Replies (11) Good night (1943) Bad night (633)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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  (508): I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur. (512): That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot? http://tfl.nu/yofn
  Replies (10) Good night (2842) Bad night (646)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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  (775): He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/4swv
  Replies (11) Good night (2053) Bad night (487)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.

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  (386): correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart. http://tfl.nu/zuch
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (256)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (893) Bad night (273)

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