I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
