wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
