he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
