he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
