I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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