it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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