why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
