Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
