I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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