My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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