dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
3pm strippers are depressing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
