I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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