I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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