do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I see more hoeing in ur future
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