is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
