i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
