Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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