i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My penis needs a shock collar
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize