It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize