i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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