Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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