We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
