I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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