you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wear drunk well.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize